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⏎Aikatsu! ⏎ Rating: 2.5 (out of 5) ⏎ Review: ⏎ Sometimes it feels like they're not even trying anymore – Aikatsu!, ostensibly a magical idol girl show, is really a half-hour commercial for a card game aimed at elementary-aged girls, or at least it seems that way. A quick browse of the official site reveals that such a thing does in fact exist, as does a 3DS game, so the sensation that we are being peddled to is perhaps justified. But despite the commercial feel – and hey, you can't really blame them for trying – there's something fun about this show and its toy-bright colors, so clearly the folks at Sunrise are doing something right. ⏎ Our story begins with seventh grader Ichigo Hoshimiya introducing herself and her life. She's a first year middle school student, enjoys helping her mother in the family bento shop, and seems pretty happy. One day she finds her little brother Raichi looking at pictures of a popular idol, Mizuki Kanzaki. He desperately wants to go to her concert, and even though Ichigo doesn't really get why it's better than watching the show on TV, she agrees to ask her idol-obsessed friend Aoi to help. Aoi, as it turns out, is only too happy to, and not only does she give Raichi tons of Mizuki pictures, she also manages to get three concert tickets through an amusingly convoluted source. Ichigo naturally tags along, and since this is an idol show, quickly catches Idol Fever. At about this time her mother begins making noises about Ichigo following her own dreams, so when Aoi announces that the famous Starlight Academy is having auditions/entrance exams, she agrees to go. Thus do our heroines set foot upon the path to stardom. ⏎ The toy-selling and magical girl aspects come in once the girls get to the academy. In the story's world, idols use magic cards to transform into CG idols, complete with special effects that fans can see with an antenna that they wear on their heads. This does make for sort of a unique transformation sequence, as the girls choose their cards, put them in designated slots on a machine that looks a bit like Cinderella's coach, and then walk through. When they emerge, they are CG versions of themselves. This is known as the “Aikatsu System,” and mastering it is required for success. The CG is a bit weird, although it moves well enough, so it's lucky that the jpop songs (two this episode not counting the themes) are catchy in a cutesy way. It's also refreshing that Ichigo isn't clumsy and doesn't, at this point, have some sort of “endearing quirk.” She's a bit light on personality, but that could certainly change. ⏎ Aikatsu isn't going to revolutionize the magical girl or the idol singer genres, but it is pretty much the definition of good clean fun. “Starlight Academy” may sound suspiciously like something out of “Jem and the Holograms,” but that actually works for the plot, at least for those of us old enough to it. So if you're looking for some brainless fun with a toe-tapping yet saccharine soundtrack, you're a seven-year-old girl, or if you just really like the color pink, Aikatsu could be the show for you. ⏎ Chousoku Henkei Gyrozetter ⏎ Rating: 1.5 (out of 5) ⏎ Review: ⏎ Two words: mecha dance. The ending theme for this kiddy show about cars transforming into giant robots features one of the funniest things I have seen in a while – a choreographed jpop idol dance number as performed by the five main mechs. Really, you haven't lived until you've seen giant robots shaking their booty and doing high kicks. ⏎ Ending theme aside, Chousoku Henkei Gyrozetter is a pretty standard show in the “Transformers” vein. In the futuristic city of New Yokohama, AI cars are the norm. In fact, the whole city was built just to showcase the technology, and virtually any age group can drive provided that they have a Driver's ID. This sets us up to have a specialized school for future AI car specialists – Arcadia Academy, run by the company of the same name. Unbeknownst to the public, however, is that the academy hides the Arcadia Secret Defense Force and their amazing new “gyrozetter” - a standard transmission car that transforms into a giant robot. Apparently this all has to do with a mysterious prophecy called the Rosettagraphy and young boy Kakeru Todoki is the driver of legend they've all been waiting for. He's your typical hero for this kind of show – young, brash, and with the quirk of misusing the word “depressingly.” (He seems to think it means “awesome.”) Unexpectedly thrown into the red gyrozetter Raiban, Kakeru proves astoundingly adept and defeats the bad guy, a rival corporation, saving two girls. One of them, Rinne, reminds him of his mother and goes from “competent” to “screaming for him to save her” in a disturbingly short space of time. The preview seems to indicate that she'll be more equal partner than damsel in distress, though, so maybe this is a one-off moment. ⏎ Chousoku Henkei Gyrozetter is, simply put, one of the most unintentionally hilarious shows I've seen recently. Filled with cliches and ludicrous premises, and uniforms that even the hero thinks look like cosplay, this is strictly for the target demographic of little kids. The colors are bright, the CG cars are fast and recognizable brands, and the whole wish-fulfillment premise make this a car-loving kid's dream come true. Personally, I plan to rewatch the ending theme whenever I have a bad day, because I am now convinced that dancing mecha are the answer to all of life's little tragedies. But generally speaking, if you are feeling nostalgic for Saturday morning cartoons, this will fill the need. Otherwise, leave it for the kiddies. ⏎ Robotics;Notes ⏎ Rating: 2.5 (...