Shelf Life

B-b-b-b-back and Lovin' It

So, where have I been for so long? Sadly, strapped to a chair with my eyes glued TO Books and computer screens, doing schoolwork that I thought would never end. Recently, things became even more thrilling when I affirmed my hatred of doing group projects. I originally wanted to open up a can of disgust and vitriol, but realized halfway through, I realized, “why on Earth would I want to relive that again?” Good point. Instead, I'd rather take the time to thank everyone who's IMed, PMed, emailed, or talked to me lately and showed their of Shelf Life. I really appreciate all of the kindness that everyone's shown me; had it not been for your soothing words, I might have really flipped out and burned a textbook in effigy. Now, in this brief respite before a final (translation: while I'm procrastinating), I figured the least I could do was start trying to catch up on my review pile. I'll really catch up this time, honestly! If I don't keep my word, punch me the next time you see me at a convention. 2 DVDs to whomever makes me shed a tear first.

Thanks again everyone, and welcome to Shelf Life.

Nausicaä of the Valley of Wind BuenaVista 117 min. 1/1 $29.99 02/22/2005 Back in high school, a friend of mine lent me the Tree of Palme.

Wolf's Rain Vol. #5 - War for the Soul Bandai 100 min. 5/7 $29.98 01/04/2005 The problem with Fullmetal Alchemist.

Wolf's Rain Vol. #6 - Paradise and Poison Bandai 125 min. 6/7 $29.98 03/22/2005 Typically, I try to stay calm when I'm watching anything, be it anime or movies, but man alive! I actually screamed in agony at the end of this disc because for some reason, I had expected it to be the last volume. Ending on one of the biggest cliff-hangers in the entire series, it took a full two hours for me to stop angsting about it. Jaguara finally has everything she needs to open her false Paradise, but Kiba is hell-bent on retrieving Cheza at all costs. However, there's something really odd about the entire city, and something even odder about Hige's behaviour. I had thought volume 5 was heart-pounding, but this one was ridiculous. Completely captivating from start to finish, this is one of the best volumes to date. Even so close to the end, plot twists are still being thrown out at a furious rate while the rest of the disc sets up for what can only be a thrilling finale. Put this in your collection. Must sell by: As soon as possible. Yeah, it'll stay fresh for years and years to come, but why would you want to wait? Hurry up and get your action fix. Other brands: For another sweeping saga of achieving one's dreams and overcoming adversities to do it, watch Last Exile.

The Cat Returns Buena Vista 75 min. 1/1 $29.99 02/22/2005 It may not be one of the best Ghibli films ever made, but My Neighbor Totoro.

Overman King Gainer Vol. #1 - Yapan's Exodus Bandai 125 min. 1/6 $29.98 02/22/2005 Okay, this show is awesome. No, it's not because of the actual content. That's only just kind of cool. It's awesome because of the goofy opening theme. There's a silly song, robots doing the Monkey, people doing ballet, and people ICE DANCING. In outer space!!! If anything, you should rent this show just to watch the opening sequence. The disc starts off in a bit of confusion (actually, it's not really until the end of the volume that viewers even know what's going on). In the distant future, humanity is clustered into domed cities called Domepolises. Dependant upon the Siberian Railway for all of their supplies and communication, the cities are all taxed heavily. One day, during a festival, a rogue band decides to perform an Exodus, a revolt which would break apart the city and forcefully move it across the country in search of a legendary land called Yapan. In comes the underdog hero, a nerdy game Brain Powerd.

Taruto, Magical Meow Meow Vol. #1 - A Magic Cat Bandai 69 min. 1/4 $29.98 02/22/2005 There's cute, and then there's too cute. Taruto is, without a doubt, too damned cute. It's so saccharine-sweet and nyan-tastic it's almost hard to sit through it without staring at the characters in horror. Once upon a time, there existed a powerful cat kingdom, ruled by a wise magic-. Eventually, war broke out, fur flew, and oh by the way, there exists a cat princess with extraordinary magical powers that was whisked away to another world. Zoom into the setting of the anime series, where a scatterbrained boy and his sister have just moved into a house with a gorgeous view of the city and an ominously dark house in the distance. Of course, the real heroine of the story is Taruto, a cute little cat-girl who dreams of someday marrying her master. Together with her new found companions, she must escape a pesky cat-thief and dodge villains with her (also cute) magical powers. Could she possibly be the legendary princess from the cat kingdom?! Gee, I wonder. The concept of the show is rather cute, in that as far as viewers can tell, the humans in the show see the cat-people as regular cats, even though they're depicted as miniature humans with feline ears and a tail. Different from other cat-girl shows that use them as fetish characters, Taruto seems to use them exclusively to pump up the cuteness factor. With a cast of cats ranging from pompous to pimp, klutzy to crazy, the show is undoubtedly fun and frivolous, but unless you've got a high tolerance for lots of pink and plenty of meows, you'd best be careful about diving headfirst into this show. Must sell by: Now. This is one of those impulse buys that suddenly seize upon you one day when you find yourself with a spare $20. You wouldn't normally buy it, and you know that if you waited around for a minute longer, your senses would come back and you'd think better of it. Other brands: If catgirls are your thing, then all the Di Gi Charat shows will have you purrin' (HAR HAR).

Geneon 75 min. 3/? $24.98 02/15/2005 Sometimes, the best thing about books is that while you're devouring the words, you're momentarily transported to another dimension. The characters become alive in your mind, and the text forms objects in front of you. Then there's visual media, where some of the imagination is depicted, to save you the trouble. Sometimes it works, and sometimes, like in Requiem of the Darkness, it doesn't. That was something that was meant to stay a book, so your mind could come alive with possibilities and horror and suspense. Instead, what is left is a series of intriguing stories that are hampered by ugly visuals and a snooze-worthy pace. With the third volume, tales of murder and revenge are told with the help of the supernatural. Men have been dying mysteriously, found with rocks imbedded in their skulls. The author suggests sugar gliders and other woodland creatures, but is it possible that it's all the work of a man with a vendetta, possessed by a ghoul who's feeding off his hatred? (Gee, not that the trends of any of the other episodes could give any indication of a pattern.) Then there's the tale of a man who keeps coming back alive, no matter how many times he's slain. Is he a demon, or is it just another story of possession and foul play? If you're in the mood for a morose show, Vampire Princess Miyu OAV, which spins more stories about the supernatural and the paranormal.

FUNimation 90 min. 1/1 $29.95 02/22/2005 I've always been endlessly amused by Saint Tail, another thief-with-police-nemesis show.

Lunar Legend Tsukihime Vol. #3 - Nocturnal Fate Geneon 100 min. 3/3 $29.98 02/22/2005 Unlike the first two volumes of Elfen Lied for more along the same lines.

Star Ocean EX Vol. #1 – The Inception Geneon 125 min. 1/6 $29.98 01/04/2005 It's a bad sign when you watch the first ten minutes of a show, pause it to make a list of things you already know are going to happen, and make a game of checking items off as you go along. When I first received the disc, I was afraid that I would be at a disadvantage having not played any of the games. I soon realized it didn't matter, because the story was so cliché and so extremely predictable that I already knew how the first five episodes were going to progress, and at what pace. Undoubtedly, if you loved all of the games and sleep with the discs under your pillow, you'll probably love this series to bits. It encomes the feeling of an RPG so well that I could picture onscreen text telling me where to go and what items I picked up. While on an expedition with his father's space crew, Claude gets pulled into another world. He finds out that the world is being consumed by monsters, but to find out how he can get back home, he must venture ever closer to their breeding ground. Accompanying him is an irritating bimbo and a cute Last-Member-Of-A-Dying-Race-Elf-Thing who thinks he's the legendary warrior sent to deliver them from peril. With mini-bosses and fated encounters along the way, they must continue leveling up as best they can! Normally I wouldn't throw much recommendation behind such a show to people unfamiliar with the games, but I tell you what, this makes for a great drinking game. The rules are easy: based on your knowledge of RPGs and fantasy stories, write down everything you think can happen in 125 minutes. Then every time you're right (or every time the main character is a wuss), take a swig. Boredom getting you down? Not anymore. Must sell by: Yesterday. Really, shows about legendary heroes who turn out to be folks form another world are so é. Other brands: But... if you don't think it's é yet, check out Sorcerous Stabber Orphen.

Popotan Vol. #2 – Enigma Geneon 100 min. 2/? $24.98 02/22/2005 Goodness, what is that stench? It smells like pre-teen spirit! Not even 4 minutes into the show and viewers are treated to more adolescent boobies. Yeah, they're older than that, but it's a poor excuse when you consider how many people are still jerking off to Mii's nubile body. Their next house jump leads them to a hot spring resort, which provides a great opportunity for girls to strip off their clothes and fondle their breasts underwater. It's not until the next episode, when Ai and Mii accidentally make a house jump without the other two girls that more information is revealed about who the gals actually are, and the mysteries surrounding them and the house. I certainly wasn't expecting the plot twist that revealed more about the house jumps, and it's something that's pumped a bit of life into a previously decaying carcass of a show. I was even more surprised at the episode after that, which revealed another character whose agenda is seemingly related to those of the girls. Still no information yet as to what's really going on, but the series has a bit more to go on now. One might even say it's *gasp* become a teeeeeeny bit interesting. Even so, there's still something about the show that really kills it, despite the inklings of storyline that have surfaced. Really, it's just the characters. With the exception of Mai and Mea who are intriguing in the way they hide or express their emotions, everyone else (ferret included) is insufferable. The amount of gratuitous (pre-adolescent!!) nudity in the show is gross, and there isn't a time that I don't wish I could kick Mii in the face whenever she grabbed someone's bosoms or bit them on the ass. The show has edged its way up from Brain-Numbing Horror to Morbidly Fascinating Curios, but you're better off punching yourself. Must sell by: Not for sale. No one needs to be subjected to this. Other brands: The only other recent show that makes me cringe and want to slap things... Sister Princess.

Thanks a million for reading! See you next time!