Shelf Life

Back to the Future... of Anime

With everyone out there whipping their bodies into shape for the new summer season, it's time for Shelf Life to revamp too. Originally, the point of the column was to preview each week's new releases so readers could figure out what was coming out and get a few opinions as to what to spend their hard-earned dough on... and what to avoid like the black plague. As time wore on though, things started to fall behind.

BUT NEVER FEAR!!! The original Shelf Life is here! From now on, each week's Shelf Life will showcase the Tuesday's new releases. Then, at random intervals in between the new columns (every Monday) complementary ones will fill in the gaps, like old releases that never got reviewed, stuff that was missed the first time around, and so on. Because the column deals with titles that haven't hit the shelves yet, it depends heavily on screeners. Buuuuut... sometimes, screeners don't come in for some titles until a few weeks after the release date. So, whatever titles the Monday columns leave out, hopefully they'll be filled in sometime later within the next few weeks. They'll make for shorter columns, but that'll let them be finished in a more timely manner and it's less of a hassle to read.

For all those readers who have stuck with me for so long, I can't thank you enough! Welcome to Shelf Life.

Planetes DVD 1 Bandai 125 min. 1/6 06/14/2005 $29.98 Wow. Every few months or so, there's a show that reminds you why you became an anime fan in the first place. Not only does Wings of Honneamise. Tastes like: Apples. The quintessential fruit that's perfect anywhere, anytime, they're a staple of grocery stores, despite how seemingly commonplace they are.

The Melody of Oblivion DVD 1 – Arrangement Geneon 100 min. 1/? $29.98 06/14/2005 This is a series that has so many ups and downs that it's hard to know what to think about it at the end. After a violent war between humans and monsters, a bloody victory was eventually had by the monsters. Over time, people slowly began to forget about the atrocities, and life eventually strayed back to its original path. The monsters still exist, but there are men known as the Warriors of Melos who dedicate their lives to killing monsters and protecting humans. Among these is Bocca, a student who pined to be a warrior. True to anime fashion, he gets his wish and miraculously learns all of the attacks he needs to combat bad guys. The premise of the show is fairly interesting: only warriors can see Revolutionary Girl Utena. Tastes like: Chocolate pudding. You've had it a million times before, but every bite gets tastier and tastier until you realize you can't put down the bowl.

Galaxy Angel Z DVD 3 – Stranded Without Dessert Bandai 105 min. 3/3 $29.98 06/14/2005 This show is too much fun. Sure, it's trivial, pointless, and has no aim outside of pleasing fans with its cute characters and crazy hijinks, but whatever they put in the water, it works. This volume seems to really focus on how wacky all of the girls are, sans Vanilla. Complete with snide commentary by the too-cute Galaxy Angel series for more Angel Corps fun. Taste like: Lucky Charms. As far as breakfast cereals go, it's frivolous and gimmicky, but every time you bite into a marshmallow, it fills you full of sugary goodness.

cosplay? Too lame to up. Related products: For a less serious take on the superhero genre, take The Daichis out for a spin. Other than that, if you want something like Gatchaman, you'd best be off with some American stuff like Johnny Quest and the Justice League. Tastes like: Colored marshmallows. Every kid loves them, but when you grow up, you realize it's just a regular marshmallow that looks really damned fruity.

That's the skinny on tomorrow's releases; see you next week for more stuff, including Baki The Grappler!