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Shelf Life
My Anime Cache

by Bamboo Dong,
It's not always easy being an anime fan. Sure, anime has become much more popular over the years, and it's getting more respect now than ever before, but try as it might, it can't completely shake off connotations of kiddy shows and pornography. Still, there's better ways to deal with anime-haters than getting angry, arguing until you're blue in the face, or being an ass. Forget trying to counter with stuff like “Well actually, there are many neat series that involve other things” or even the Spirited-Away-Won-An-Oscar angle.

It's all in the attitude, guys. Play it off. Don't let them rile you up. If you can make fun of yourself or take all the jokes in stride, they'll be less tempted to take potshots at you. Hell, they'll even want to be your friend. Take the following real-life exchange.

“Yeah, I watch anime, it's pretty cool.”
“Man, you're a wuss. I can't believe you watch Pokémon and stuff.”
“Hey, hey, don't diss the Pokémon. That show is friggin' awesome.”
“Are you serious??”
“Dude, they're like the X-Men of the animal world. You just don't know.”


The other person will be so confused s/he won't even think to keep jabbing at you. Another example:

“You sick pervert; I bet you spend all your time watching those nasty porno cartoons!”
“Yeah, all the time. I have like, WALLS of it back home.”
“I bet you even watch that nasty poop-eating porn.”
“EVERYDAY. There's this one where this chick craps in a bowl and mixes it with her Cheerios. It's so hot.”
“… are you serious?”
“No.”


Believe me, you'll make friends so much faster when you're not so wrapped up in being angry. Welcome to Shelf Life.






Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro - Special Edition
Manga 90 min. 1/1 $24.98 07/25/2006


Of all the Funimation.



ADV Films 325 min. 1-3/3 $44.98 08/08/2006

This show is unlike any other, and it holds as true now as it did a few years ago when I first saw it. From beginning to end, it fills you with the kind of soaring happiness that anyone who's ever performed on stage knows and cherishes. Full Moon wo Sagashite is a must-see. It'll make you laugh and cry like a sissy, but you'll thank yourself for it.



Kodocha Babbit Box 2 + DVD 7 & 8 + Plushie
Funimation 210 min. $44.98 08/08/2006

It's hard to believe, but six volumes later, Netflix queue. It's quirky, cute, and guaranteed to make you smile.










Kamichu! DVD 2 - Power of Love
Geneon 100 min. 2/? $29.98 08/15/2006


It's very fitting that Yurie just happens to be a wind god—in fact, it fits the show perfectly, with its lackadaisical pacing and its gentle plot turns. Still trying to figure out her powers and her newfound role in life as the resident god, Yurie has plenty of things to keep her busy. The last thing she needs is to fall ill, or worse, give love advice to a girl who's in love with her crush. Someday's Dreamers, undoubtedly you'll find yourself at home with this title.



Elemental Gelade DVD 2 - Foundations
Geneon 100 min. 2/6 $29.98 08/15/2006


As far as mindless adventure series go, Elemental Gelade is pretty darned entertaining. It requires almost no brain power to process, the colors are bright and happy, and the characters are, for the most part, pretty lovable. That said, it's not much of a masterpiece, but it's good for those lazy afternoons when you're willing to do just about anything to fire a few synapses in your brain. Cou and his friends continue their journey to Edel Garden, but they're continuously hampered by bad guys. Whether it's people looking to kidnap Ren, or just folks with some serious bloodlust, there's always something in the way of their adventure. Granted, it's not always exciting (because after awhile, watching weird weapons shoot energy waves at Cou gets dull), but it's such an innocuous show it's hard to truly dislike. The main crew has quite a ways to go before they get to their destination—let's hope the series doesn't plan on following them every step of the way.










Dragon Ball Z Movie 13 - Wrath of the Dragon (Uncut)
Funimation 55 min. 1/1 $24.98 08/22/2006


Also known as one big tangent on how Trunks got his sword. Man, if Goku and company were able to find the seven dragonballs in 1 minute, 46 seconds, why couldn't they have done that for all the franchise, though this one isn't nearly as entertaining as some of the other ones that have been released. It plays out like an extended episode with no real purpose, but at least it's short and succinct. If you're not much of a Dragon Ball fan though, you'd really be hard-pressed to find a reason to pick up this movie, but hey, if flaxen-haired meatheads are your game, then eat up.











My Secret Cache
Geneon 83 min. 1/1 $29.98 08/08/2006


Money is everything, especially for Sakiko whose hobbies include counting money and obtaining money. Everything she does in life revolves around legal tender, and it's the only thing that motivates her. While it may seem like a trite pursuit, it provides the basis for one of the more entertaining films I've seen recently. Embracing a dry sense of humor, the movie is made by Naomi Nishida's performance as a droll young woman who takes life one patient step at a time. The entire storyline revolves around a suitcase full of money; in order to retrieve it, Sakiko will do anything it takes, including going back to college, working at a seedy lingerie pub, and filling an apartment full of expensive surveying gear. Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of her character is that she's not actually motivated to succeed to better herself—she just does what she has to do in order to keep filling her perpetually emptying bank . It's a riveting look at a consumerist culture personified in a woman and her pragmatic actions to nurture it will have you laughing at loud. If you possess any sort of affinity for the dry and ironic, you'll absolutely love this movie.






Chances are, you haven't seen Chance Pop Session, so I'm giving you the chance to check it out for free. Think your rhymes are hot? Think you're the great Filk Master? Then this contest has your name. all over it. Write your own anime-related lyrics to the chorus of Paris Hilton's incredibly irritating (yet catchy) single, Stars Are Blind (starts around 1:01) and email them to shelflife [at] animenewsnetwork [dot] com. The funnier the better! All entries must be received by 11:59PM EST on September 7.

Thanks for reading!

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