The Mike Toole Show

Shirow's Kids

In this column, I sometimes like to shine the light on great artists and animators. I think it's a good idea to discuss someone like Masamune Shirow all week. Yeah, he's not really an animator - but he does, after all, work in the anime business.

Shirow's on my mind partly because I just finished watching Gundress.

Gundress is the name of a 1999 feature film from Toei's chain of theatres. But it didn't quite work out that way.

If I had a time machine, I think one of the first things I would do is go back to March of 1999 so I could experience the full glory of Gundress's premiere. I wasn't there, but an old correspondent of mine, who has declined to be named, was. According to him, when he purchased his ticket, he was also handed a printed flyer which stated the following:

"This movie isn't completed at all. If you enter our theatre to see it, we can't reimburse you for this unfinished movie. However, if you provide us with your address, we'll send you a videotape of the completed version as soon as it's available."

See, Nikkatsu were the money men, but the actual Gundress Grave of the Fireflies hit theatres with a few kinks and rough edges. The thing is, though, that both of these movies were more than 90% done when their screening commitments forced a release. Gundress, on the other hand... well, it wasn't as far along as that. There were some special effects missing. Not all of the music was inserted. Also, entire scenes hadn't really exactly been animated yet, if you get my drift. Major scenes. The film's central action scenes, actually. In fact, the only parts that seemed to be complete and whole were either slow, static scenes, or the handful of moments where one of the movie's girl heroes was naked. Test animation and animatics filled out the rest of the movie's 90-minute runtime.

To say that this was a huge, hilarious scandal would be something of an understatement. The flyer containing the warning became a coveted collector's item. Inside the theatres, fans covertly filmed the unpolished turd onscreen, convinced that the "rough" cut was so embarrassing that it would never see proper release on video. Sanctuary, one of the production companies on the committee, sued Nikkatsu for damages. Nikkatsu and ORCA would limp over the finish line with the movie some four months later, and shamefacedly shipped more than seven thousand VHS copies of the completed work to fans who'd come to see the car wreck in theatres and decided they did, indeed, want the finished version. The eventual DVD release actually included the unfinished version as an alternate-angle feature, which at this point was widely heralded by both fans and pros as one of the anime business's great nightmares. In short, it was awesomely bad.

Despite all of that-- despite all of it!-- Gundress was picked up for US release in short order, because Shirow was involved. Invoking his name on a release like this is kind of like sneakily flogging the variety of lousy movies executive-produced by Stephen Spielberg as SPIELBERG PRODUCTIONS, but hey, at least it's a credible angle. The thing is, ORCA didn't really take their cues from Shirow - his concept art and character designs were built with the idea that the red-suited Sylvia would be the heroine, but the actual film was all about the older, meaner Takako. Media Blasters' release of the DVD doesn't include the rubbish version, but it does include a short documentary that will afford you a glimpse of all of the incompetent people that made the film happen four months too late. Sadly, Media Blasters' promise of a limited theatrical release-- unfinished or otherwise-- did not come to .

Amazingly, that wasn't the extent of Shirow's involvement with ORCA. A couple of years prior to Gundress, Shirow's name was all over a 2-part Kazuto Nakazawa) took his work and did the actual animation designs. The stink of failure was pretty strong in Landlock, as well - it is a limp, by-the-numbers fantasy adventure that was supposed to synergistically involve a video game as the central element, with comic and animation tie-ins to boost the brand's profile. Of course, the video game never happened, but what was the video publisher supposed to do, splash the cover with "BASED ON THE HIT VIDEO GAME THAT NEVER ACTUALLY GOT MADE!" nonsense? No, they had to flog the Shirow connection.

Once you get past these curious little speed bumps, you're in familiar territory, as far as Masamune Shirow's body of work is concerned. Dominion: Tank Police was a huge gateway drug for anime fans in the 90s, for a variety of reasons. First of all, it starred a hot-blooded girl whose biggest love in life was her tank. Secondly, it had a really weird sense of humor - one of the original OVA's signature moments involved the bad guys sealing their escape by littering the road with giant, immobile blow-up dongs. Finally, while the show didn't feature the first anime cat girl, Dominion's Annapuma and Unipuma really sold the idea of "sexy catgirls!" that hasn't ever really gone away - just look at this past year's MAJ. Kusanagi. She's a keeper.

So what's left? Two things: First, there's the wholly regrettable Blood: The Last Vampire - has achieved significant commercial and/or critical success, but he hasn't helmed an animated film or TV series in a decade. But I digress.

There are a couple of more projects that anime and manga nuts might mention. The fairly recent Real Drive, and drawing lavishly colored, detailed, and occasionally alarmingly pornographic illustrations for books, magazines, and calendars. Personally, I'd like this master to try his hand at animation again.

Got a favorite Shirow project? Have I forgotten some anime he's worked on? Actually, I'd be surprised if I have, I'm pretty sure I touched on all of 'em. Sound off in the comments!