2003 April Fools Jokes
by Christopher Macdonald, This is a companion article to this editorial.
Spirited Away Oscar taken back! Recount reveals Lilo & Stitch to be the true winner!
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today that a special request by Disney executive Kym Murphy has revealed Lilo and Stitch to be the winner of the Oscar for Best Animated Feature.
"The difference was quite small," Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President Frank Pierson explained. "Only a small number of votes separated Spirited Away and Lilo and Stitch. The recount revealed a cache of additional votes that were previously uned for. After tallying these votes, Lilo and Stitch ended up on top by fewer than five votes!"
Studio Ghibli representatives could not be reached at the time of publishing, but Anime News Network will continue to follow this story as it develops.
Hikaru no Go TV series, although ANN Pro refused to comment on these rumors.
Oscar Scandal: Spirited Away Loses!
Spirited Away Oscar taken back! Recount reveals Lilo & Stitch to be the true winner!
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today that a special request by Disney executive Kym Murphy has revealed Lilo and Stitch to be the winner of the Oscar for Best Animated Feature.
"The difference was quite small," Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President Frank Pierson explained. "Only a small number of votes separated Spirited Away and Lilo and Stitch. The recount revealed a cache of additional votes that were previously uned for. After tallying these votes, Lilo and Stitch ended up on top by fewer than five votes!"
Studio Ghibli representatives could not be reached at the time of publishing, but Anime News Network will continue to follow this story as it develops.
Hikaru no Go TV series, although ANN Pro refused to comment on these rumors.
While working on their original production, Kodomo no Omocha.
"We're a bunch of guys who sit around doing nothing but working on a little website all day," explains Mr. Macdonald, "We figured that since we had nothing better to do with our time...we may as well do something better."
"Actually, while we're just announcing it today, we licensed Kodocha will be on DVD shelves sometime this decade."
Meanwhile, when asked why ANN Pro chose Apollo Smile, the voice actress for Sana-chan, was present at the exclusive press party held at New York's luxurious Avalon Hotel. "Like, its just an absolute honor to be cast as a voice actress person in this show! I'm not entirely sure why they think I'm suited for the part, but they kept saying that I was perfect to play the part of cute little Sana-chan so, like, it's an honor!"
Last week, Zac Bertchy announced from Anime News Network's Tokyo office the formation of ANN Pro, along with the production of their first title, "Cartoon Network. A simultaneous launch is planned for Japan and North America.
With an opening song by L'arc~en~Ciel, and merchandising by Microsoft, and Ford to have their products appear in the series, lending it the credibility of their established brands."
In another recent development, speculation on the Internet suggests that ANN Pro signed contracts for Christopher Macdonald refused to comment on this development.
The full press release follows below:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ANIME NEWS NETWORK ANNOUNCES KODOMO NO OMOCHA, COOKIE-SAN NO NEWSROOM
KODOCHA RELEASED ON ANIME NEWS NETWORKS ANN PRO LABEL; DUE SPRING 2004
MONTREAL, March 31, 2003 ? Anime News Network (http://animenewsnetwork.filmscomplets.org) is proud to announce its second acquisition, fan-favorite Christopher Macdonald said he was very pleased with the fan-favorite acquisition. "We're happy to be bringing one of the most famous anime series ever produced to North America! We couldn't be happier!"
"For years, fans begged and pleaded for -anyone- to license Kodocha would be a runaway hit in America. We had to license it, if for no other than because TOKYOPOP said it wouldn't happen."
Last week, ANN Pro announced their first co-produced series, "WOWOW, and Cartoon Network! Premieres July 1st.
ABOUT ANIME NEWS NETWORK ? Founded in 1998 Anime News Network is one of the few first rate sources of Anime News available on the Internet in the English language. Anime News Network works closely with the Anime industry, fans and companies alike, to bring Anime fans up to date and relevant coverage of the Anime Industry, coverage that isn?t available from the mainstream press of the general entertainment industry press. In 2003, ANN expanded into anime production with its ANN Pro division.
Godzilla Assisting U.S. Army in Nuclear Arms Search
According to an article in today's Ikamono Shinbun, Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi announced the deployment of Godzilla to the Persian Gulf to search for nuclear arms.
Translated from the Ikamono Shinbun:
Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi announced that Japan would deploy Godzilla to Iraq to provide assistance to U.S. troops in locating nuclear waste and possible nuclear weapons. In a public announcement outside the Tokyo Diet Building, Koizumi said, "The Japanese constitution does not allow the Self-Defense Force to deploy in the offensive assault on Iraq. As Godzilla is not a part of the recognized Self-Defense Force, he cannot be subject to our laws. We send Godzilla to the American forces as a token of good-will, and we hope that he proves useful in their search missions."
It is not clear if Japan is allowing Godzilla to go to Iraq or if Godzilla is traveling independent of the wishes of the government. Godzilla has historically not cooperated with government officials, and Tokyo has burnt down on more than one occasion due directly to a Godzilla-related incident.
Astro Boy Signs Up!
News flash, Tokyo! The Tokyo Shimbun reports that the Japanese Diet has voted to send prototype Tetsuwan Atom model robots to Iraq in the form of humanitarian aid. This is no doubt to soothe the international uproar brought about by sending over their own weapon of mass destruction, as seen earlier today.
ANN Exclusive: TOKYOPOP to Buy All Japanese Manga
Leaked documents from an anonymous TOKYOPOP executive indicate that the company is in negotiations with the Japanese government to singlehandedly buy translation and distribution licenses for every manga produced since 1987.
A high-level TOKYOPOP executive provided Anime News Network with an exclusive look at classified documents indicating their intent to purchase thousands of manga translation and distribution licenses. Instead of dealing with each individual company, however, TOKYOPOP has taken an unconventional approach to acquiring these titles: Directly contracting the rights from the Japanese Government!
TOKYOPOP's executive said, on condition of anonymity, "Fans will love this! We've been working on it for years, back when we were Kinokuniya--manga piled from floor to ceiling, all along the walls!"
Anime News Network was unable to see the 572-page listing of all the acquired manga titles, but our assured us that virtually every manga, one-shot story, and Comiket to secure material from every doujinshi ring, ever. Even the ones that vanished with the collapsing economy. We got 'em all!"
What is the price of all this manga? Our couldn't provide an exact number, but he did say "Eight digits! Can you believe it? It was a steal, but that's why we dealt with the Japanese government directly."
It is uncertain if this will override contracts made previously by other manga vendors, such as Viz and Dark Horse Comics. Anime News Network will continue following this story as it develops.
Heero Yui and Duo Maxwell Not Gay!
In a brief announcement today, Heero Yui's agent announced that Heero is not dating Duo Maxwell.
LONG BEACH, CA -- Heero Yui's agent, Mr. Chu, announced today, "We are sorry to inform the fans of Gundam Wing, but contrary to rumors circulating on the Internet, Mr. Yui is not dating Mr. Duo Maxwell. While he and Mr. Maxwell are indeed good friends, Mr. Yui is currently engaged to Ms. Relena Peacecraft."
Mr. Chu also announced that Trowa and Quatre are not gay either. "These fine young men have had their names slandered on the Internet long enough. It's time that everyone involved in these unsightly rumors move on to bigger and better things."
Mr. Chu refused to take questions after the press conference.
Outside, fangirls screamed "1x2! 1x2!" and "DIE RELENA!" as Mr. Chu walked to his Hachi-shonen-ai!" an unidentified fanfiction writer screamed, tossing Heero UFO dolls at Mr. Chu. Mr. Chu smiled and waved at the mob before quickly departing the scene.
After Mr. Chu left, many fans stayed around to discuss possible underground fanfic circles. "Just because it isn't true doesn't mean we can't dream!" a self-proclaimed 1x2 and 1x5 writer said.
Most writers, however, seem to believe that a local Flower Shop (run by five eligible bachelors) is the next big scene.
Dance Dance Resurrection Anime Announced
Megumi Hayashibara.
ADV Films buys Manga International
Not to be confused with Manga Entertainment.
Special Thanks to Dan Milliken for this item.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ADV FILMS PURCHASES NEW ANIME COMPANY
(Houston,Texas) - ADV Films has bought out Manga International (formerly Anime Cartoon) in a bold move to expand production facilities. This strategic move is in perfect precision with industry smarts and consumer demand. ADV's immense distribution network and marketing savvy will be supplemented with a large increase in anime titles through Manga International's library in addition to more production facilities.
ADV Films PR Representative Rod Petrs states, "We listened to the demand from our consumers through the internet anime fan community as well as the convention circuit to increase monthly releases of titles while lowering prices. We estimate that we should be able to move all physical replication of DVD releases to Manga International's plants within four to five weeks. This will benefit our supply chain by allowing us to move more product into the retail level at a more agressive pace. By improving our vertical integration with Manga International's immense source library and their replication facilities we will be able to target the lower prices our consumers are looking for. An added bonus is that we will be able to entice our consumers through improved packaging of DVD releases by using Manga International's gatefolds with their exquisite artwork. This is clearly a win-win situation for everyone."
Plans are underway to utilize key of Manga International's translation staff to assist ADV Films in finishing production of titles licensed within the last several years and moving them rapidly into retail venues. ADV Films has already picked Neon Genesis Evangelion from the 1990s. Plans are already in place to move this production into the forefront of releases during fourth quarter of this fiscal year. "We can only hope that consumers will no longer complain about pricing and episode counts for our DVD releases after this visionary step forward," stated Petrs.
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