Shelf Life
xxxHol & Oates
by Erin Finnegan,

Let's cut to the chase: It's hard to review Dragon Boxes? Well, this week I've come up with something a little different. Behold my review of Dragon Ball Z with 1920's slang (graciously added by Eli M. Balin):

I did not watch this set with stopwatch-in-hand, but would bet dollars to doughnuts that over 80% of Freeza and Goku's rumble is razzing and 20% is the bonafide rumbling. I figure that the college boys back in Freeza's hometown can get a sheepskin in Razzing, with courses like Static 101, Peppy Windsucking 102, and Advanced Studies in Chin Music.
After 20+ episodes of Freeza's rattling about how many minutes until he offs Goku, or how much time is left until the planet blows up, it is Your Humble Narrator's opinion that on the subject of time, Freeza is all wet. The mug is probably late to meetings, and offs anyone who calls him on it.
Before the sockdollager is through, we're treated to Krillin's big exit at least a half-dozen times. He explodes in a nasty-looking red cloud of (I am assuming) his own blood. You'd probably be hitting on all sixes if you guessed that the Cartoon Network didn't flash the claret, leastwise not in red. And how!
Meanwhile, Goku's cronies pull a lot of shenanigans with the dragon balls. The additional wish rules are as much hooey and hokum as the rules for using the Death Note.
Halfway through the set, we're given the obviously-a-filler Garlic Junior Saga. It's like one of Marvel's "What If" funnybooks. "What if Krillin had a sheba?"; "What if Gohan gave the slip to crash a party?"; "What if Master Roshi lost his shades?"
Finally Trunks waltzes in, kicks ass, and gives Goku the lowdown on his amusing Back to the Future meets Terminator backstory. Androids 19 and 20 menacingly close out the set on an adequately dramatic yet sad-ragged note.
Your Humble Narrator suspects that Dragon Ball Z has a lasting effect on American audiences particularly because the Freeza Saga falls somewhere between Superhero funnybooks and professional wrestling. Throwing in a bit of the old Scientifiction is pure gravy.
If the Freeza Saga is memorable, it is because Freeza is a memorable heavy. He is monomaniacal, evil, and just plain gives the heebie-jeebies. He plummets headfirst into the uncanny valley. Though he's got the gob of a regular jake, he ankles about like a lizard or a crab on his three-toed dogs.
I was too innocent in high school to think much about Freeza's bright purple lipstick and Charles Atlas physique. Along those lines, I thought Zarbon was the most flamboyant villain, but Gash/Spice puts him to shame. (Not that there's anything wrong with being flamboyant!)
This set seriously teeters on the edge of being "Perishable," but the nice color booklet and the production of the box save it from the trash. I watched this entire box set, only to find out that [TOP]
Fortunately the rest of the week made me less suicidal.
I love CLAMP's character designs (I dig the tall skinny boys), but CLAMP's storytelling is often hit-or-miss with me; I like xxxHOLiC TV series, but the stand-alone episodes didn't make me eager to watch more, and eventually I forgot about it. I dropped Tsubasa immediately, since it seemed silly and you had to be a CLAMP expert to get much enjoyment out of it. For me, watching Tsubasa would be like playing Kingdom Hearts without being familiar with Disney movies.
This release is a double feature of two dubiously connected 35-45 minute theatrical "films". On one hand, I've always thought it was odd that these short summer movies exist in Japan, but on the other hand, feature films typically have a higher budget so I'm always glad to check them out. CLAMP with a feature budget in HD = a good time had by all.
Even if these movies sucked (which they don't), there are some incredible extras for each. Multiple Japanese publicity events are included, as well as character design slide shows, but the icing on this cake is the commentary tracks. Instead of just a seiyuu appear picture-in-picture, filmed in the studio, so you can watch them comment on the movie as it plays in the background. Multiple Japanese extras is a good enough reason to buy a DVD, but if you're a seiyuu fan, you need this Blu-ray.
The Tsubasa movie is incredibly gorgeous. The plot is summarized concisely in the full title: Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE The Movie: Princess of the Birdcage Kingdom. As d, the film takes place in a fantasy world in a forest kingdom located inside a giant birdcage. Our heroes help out a mute-psychic princess who's evil uncle is trying to block out the sun (like Mr. Burns in episode 128/2F16 of The Simpsons, except with magic). The lush backgrounds, flocks of birds, and the princess's sweet clothes are all great eye candy. Unfortunately the protagonists were totally lost on me, since I haven't watched much Tsubasa. We're given a quick recap of the series, which had the effect of making my husband laugh really hard. The Dimensional Witch Yūko¹ is referred to as The Witch of Space and Time, which reminded Noah of the cheeseball movie The Wizard of Speed and Time.
Fortunately, Watanuki and his employer Yūko are invited to a dinner party in a creepy mansion obviously modeled after the Winchester Mystery House. All of the other dinner guests are hardcore collectors of objects (like spoons). When the host isn't present at dinner, it's fairly obvious people are going to start getting murdered, and they do, and fast, because this is a short film.
The movie does something cool with textures that's similar to Howl's Moving Castle (which looked more seamless on film than it did on DVD for some reason).
The house is a great character in the film. A lot of care is taken to establish the surreal space, so the climactic scenes work really well. The only thing I can think of that's comparable is Alice in Wonderland (1951) with Mary Blair's great designs.
It is certainly accessible to non-CLAMP fans. (Although apparently [TOP]
Once again I'm not staggering my reviews very well, because there is another Shelf Worthy title this week.
Even the shortest anime series have prerequisite Christmas and New Years episodes, but since Sgt. Frog is a longer series, it covers even the more obscure holidays like Mike Toole covered the soccer episode in his "Anime and the Beautiful Game").
As a show sponsored by Bandai, Sgt. Frog is blatantly commercial, and not above the "How to buy action figure man" episode. It is not surprising in a show where the opening credits feature people buying and wearing Sgt. Frog merchandise that there would be a running gag about how poorly the Kululu figures are selling in real life. I've heard Kululu (the crazy yellow frog) regularly comes in last in "favorite character" polls for the Sgt. Frog manga. His toys really are the least popular in real life (in Japan, anyway). Personally I love Kululu and his Chaotic Neutral batshit crazy attitude, and would totally buy a toy of him (especially if it was on sale). Nevertheless, even I think his voice is a little annoying on both English and in the Japanese soundtrack. I'm sure it's supposed to be.
At one point, humorous [TOP]
¹ Yūko is one of my favorite characters ever. I also like Misato from Evangelion… it's probably a little too telling that I like women who like to imbibe.

This week's shelves are from Jerome:
"Hi my name is Jeromeskee in the ANN community. And here's my beloved shelf that I've been building for the past few years! Hopefully it makes the cut!
I'm a big fighting game and anime fan, and my shelves and walls reflect that.
As you can see, I'm really into marquee posters. Highlights include an original King of Fighters 94 Re-Bout promo poster (extremely rare!!!), a vintage Super Street Fighter II Turbo poster from circa 1995, and an original Street Fighter III Third Strike promo poster for the PS2 release in Japan. The three posters above my shelves showcase three of my all-time favorite anime series, Bleach.
My top shelf showcases what I feel is a definitive PS2 fighting game collection, at least as far as US releases are concerned. From Street Fighter to Samurai Shodown to Fatal Fury to King of Fighters to World Heroes to Guilty Gear to Arcana Heart to Naruto Ultimate Ninja to Dragon Ball Infinite World to Tekken to Soul Calibur to Dead or Alive, I pretty much have it all!!! My PS1 collection is to the right, which includes such rarities as Darkstalkers 3, Rival Schools, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Gundam Battle Assault 2, Marvel vs. Capcom 1, and an original Japanese release copy of Dragon Ball Z Legends.
My second shelf showcases my anime collection. My personal favorites include the complete Yū Yū Hakusho series, the complete Gundam Universal Century series (from the original movie trilogy through Vision of Escaflowne.
My fourth shelf showcases my manga collection. As you can see, I own Death Note and Rurouni Kenshin in their entirety! Kenshin definitely is one of my all-time favorites!
Finally, my bottom shelf showcases my Street Fighter Anniversary Stick, released about 6 years ago in commemoration of Street Fighter's 15th anniversary. This stick is a very rare item, and I use it for all of my fighting games!
My collection is not as awe-inspiring as some of the collections I've seen in Shelf Life but I definitely have a lot of rare, quality stuff!"

It certainly looks awe-inspiring to me!
Want to show off your stuff? Send your jpgs to shelflife at animenewsnetwork dot com. Thanks!
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